Matters Of The Heart
by Claire-de-Lune92
Summary: Set during NM. After Edward leaves her Bella has one drunken night with Jacob which results in Bella becoming pregnant. Jacob is excited and Bella hates her baby. How will they cope? And when Alice returns will Bella choose Edward or her baby? R
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 A Crappy Christmas Part 1

**Bella's POV**

I stood opposite my mirror shifting to the side, my figure did not appear to look any different. Pulling up my t-shirt exposing my almost flat stomach ,I still found no signs of a three month pregnancy bump. The news still shocked me ,I couldn't get my head round it. In fact if Charlie hadn't made a joke about me having PMS then it never would have caused my mind to consider the possibility of being pregnant. After that I couldn't recall the last time I'd gotten my period, a quick appointment to the Doctor's had confirmed my fears. On June the 6th , just two months before my nineteenth birthday I would be a mother. My mind nor my heart were prepared for a child. The last time I had loved something so dearly it had gone out of my life and hurt me so terribly that I was still recovering now. I was ashamed to admit it but I felt no love towards my unborn baby. Perhaps if it were Edward's then I might have thought differently about things.

My body trembled on the inside, even mentioning his name was too difficult a task for me. Covering my stomach up quickly I walked over to lie on my bed, this was such a depressing Christmas. For three simple reasons, 1. I was pregnant 2. Renee wasn't visiting me due to her cancelled flight and 3. Billy and Jacob Black were coming round for Christmas dinner today. Oh god. I wouldn't be able to put up with Jacob's clinginess today, we weren't on speaking terms at the moment. It was all his fault I blamed him. This all sounds really immature but maybe I cant blame Jacob entirely maybe I have to take some of the blame for myself?

At that moment, my bedroom door swung open ,and unannounced Charlie entered with a pair of white oven gloves on and a purple frilled apron tied over his Chief uniform. Oh my father at that moment was the perfect example of masculinity. Sighing in annoyance I sat up on my bed giving him a what-do-you-want look.

"Hey Bells. Turkey cooked and everything else is good to go."

Charlie who hadn't cooked a proper meal since 1986 was attempting to cook Christmas dinner for four people. Had I not been in a current state of depression I would have offered my cooking expertise , but some twisted part of me was hoping that in leaving him to cook alone the turkey would be burnt and the 'fun' meal would be cancelled. However, much to my dismay everything had gone smoothly leaving nothing burnt or inedible. Of all the days for Charlie's cooking to go well it had to be today!

"Great. That's fantastic Dad." I said feigning interest. "What time does Billy and his pup get here?"

"Not this again! What do you have against Jacob, Bella?" He demanded to know placing a hand on his hip in a manner that did not help diminish his feminine side.

"Nothing Dad. Ok I'm just worried that now I'm alone he'll get the wrong idea." I lied looking as convincing as a teenager conning their way into an R-rated movie.

Charlie jaw dropped open about to say something else, until the sound of the door knocking downstairs caught his attention. Knowing who the visitor's would be Charlie began to dither between the stairs and my doorway in a sudden panic. Until he made a dash towards the stairs, forgetting his current attire.

"Hey Dad." I called to him.

He came running back in clinging to the doorway. "What?"

I grabbed hold of my collar to indicate that he was still wearing the oven gloves and apron. Throw in a black long haired wig and he could resemble Nigella Lawson. Who according to some dull conversation with Angela a while back, was some British cook. Charlie's face turned bright red as he began to get flustered.

"Oh your right. And I'm still in my work uniform. Bell's your going to have to go answer the door." He told me.

I began to panic myself at that moment. I could not go down there and answer the door to Jacob and his dad. Jacob and me had fallen out and Billy would be feeling all sympathetic because of what happened with Ed-_ him._ But how could I tell Charlie that without sounding rude or revealing the dispute between me and Jacob. What was I going to do?

"Dad I don't think-"

But Charlie didn't give me time to give him a reasonable excuse at to why I shouldn't let in our Quileute guests, for in a matter of moments he had ran off down the hall to his room shouting thanks at me. Cursing under my breath and making a mental note to kill Charlie later , I stalked down the stairs to answer the door. Once I got to the door I could see Jacob through the stained glass window, staring at the ground probably in attempts to avoid eye contact with me.

"Hi." I said forcing on a sincere smile. "Nice to see you."

In response Billy gave me a kind wave whilst Jacob shoved right past me and wandered into the living room, almost as if he were unaware of my presence. And who said this was going to be awkward.

"I don't know what's got into him." Billy thought allowed as he wheeled himself in and I closed the front door. "He wont tell me why you two have fallen out."

"Honestly Billy. It's complicated. But hopefully it will be sorted out soon." I assured him or more I tried to assure myself.

We walked into the living room where Jacob was sat on the armchair in the corner, preoccupying himself with a newspaper. I sat on the sofa opposite in complete silence, praying to god to bring me a miracle. Or just something that would help get me out of this awful situation that I never wanted to find myself in. After a further five minutes of silence, I was to say relieved would be an understatement, when Charlie reappeared dressed in jeans and a red chequered shirt ,and took over responsibilities of being the host. Occupying Billy with conversation of the upcoming Baseball season. With everyone doing their own thing I decided to go into the kitchen and prepare dinner.

When I got into the kitchen the odour of cooked meat in the air swept into my nose, and I had to fight back the urge to throw up. I forgot that a major part of pregnancy was morning sickness. But I was strong I could get through this without giving in to the nauseous feeling in my stomach. However, the moment I pulled back the foil on the turkey and inhaled an even stronger dose of the smell, I knew my defences had been broken. Placing a hand over my mouth I tried to run out into the hall but knew I could not physically make it to the bathroom in time, so pushing open the backdoor I rushed out into the yard and was sick into the snow covered ground.

Once all my heaving and coughing was over I stood up from my hunched over position, taking a few moments to catch my breath. I got the fright of my life however when I turned around to see Jacob standing there.

"Hey…J-a…..ke. You a……..all-right?" I mustered my teeth now chattering.

With emptying the contents of my stomach being my main priority, the cold outside had slipped my mind so I had arn out wearing just a thin red shirt , jeans and flat black pumps.

"Your cold." Jacob pointed out removing himself from his black leather jacket and placing it over my shoulders as I shivered. "Bells. Why were you throwing up? Are you sick?"

"It's nothing." I lied trying to remove his jacket but as he placed his hand tightly on my shoulder the grip was too strong to break free from.

"Bells. Please tell me." He urged. "Whatever it is it can't be that bad."

Tears started falling from my eyes, this had been the first time I had cried since discovering the news. "Jake you have no idea."

"Then tell me. Please." He repeated.

"Ok I will. Jake I'm pregnant. And you're the father."

A/N: ha-ha I am evil and have decided to leave you with a cliff-hanger. Review or I will set the wolves on you!!! Ha-ha thanks for reading I will update soon.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey sorry for the really long wait on chapter two, but I forgot all about my fan fiction account. Sorry anyway here's chapter two hope you like XD

Chapter 2 A Crappy Christmas Part Two

"Say something!" I pleaded.

It had been ten minutes since I had finally confessed my news to Jacob and he hadn't spoken a word. Straightaway he had crossed our backyard to sit on the old garden swing Charlie had placed there in the days that Renee had inhabited the house, I had thought of joining him but a little distance was needed at this moment. Literally.

Finally his lips shook nervously as he garbled. "How? I thought we-"

I placed a hand over my face as I squirmed over the memory. "Please don't make me go into details of that night Jacob. We were too drunk to use protection, so really it's our own faults."

"This is… incredible." Jacob said as an eager smile spread across his face. "Our baby is growing inside you."

"Jacob hold on a sec." I said in an authoritative tone to put a stop to any of his ideas. "This is not our baby. This is an unfortunate accident and even though I don't know what I'm doing yet, none of my options involve keeping this baby."

A rush of anger hit Jacob as he stepped up from the swing and marched towards me. His face was in close proximity with mine as he began to yell at the top of his voice, causing me to worry that my neighbors or worse Charlie would hear.

"How can you say that about your own child? Are you seriously going to have an abortion? Murder my baby?"

"Keep your voice down." I hissed as I shot him an evil glance. "First of all I never mentioned anything about an abortion and second of all my body my choice."

With that I turned around and strolled back up the garden path in a quick stride, trying to get back into the house before Jacob could catch up with me and argue some more. But he was faster than me and my feeble steps were no match for his quick pace. Jacob grabbed hold of the underneath of my arms ,as I leaned over to pull the door handle, and gently but forcefully swung me round so that I was facing him once more.

"The real reason you don't want this baby is because of Edward. I'm right aren't I? If he were here this never would have happened, but he's not and it did happen so you have to face this. Edward's gone and he's not coming back, so you might as well have the baby. It's better than having a bloodsucker's child."

It felt like someone had thrown freezing water over my body unexpectedly ,those words had hurt me like a dagger to the heart. At the mention of Edward's name and also the harsh words Jacob had said about Edward.

"How dare you!" I Shrieked at him furiously grinding my hands into fists as they hung loosely by my side. "Don't you understand now why I don't want your child? Because I wouldn't want him to have a stupid, immature prejudice father like you."

After stunning him with my truthful speech I turned around to walk back up the path , only to stop in my tracks when I noticed Charlie and Billy standing in the doorway, their expressions looking puzzled.

"Dad." I stuttered. "How …l-long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough Bells." He replied angrily "Long enough."

"Dad please-" I began as the tears started to fall once again.

But Charlie held his hand up silencing me, slowly he walked out of the doorway and continued past me towards Jacob. I didn't see the look he gave him because I was too busy holding onto my side in agony as I continued to cry out in fear. But although the words sounded muffled over my tears, I heard what my over-protective father said to Jacob.

"So you slept with my daughter during her vulnerable state. Got her pregnant, and now intend to force her into whatever you want to happen? What's wrong with you Jake? Do you not have any respect for her at all?"

"Charlie!" Billy called from the doorway wearily, had there been a ramp on the back door instead of steps he would have joined us in a heartbeat, but this obstacle kept him away during a time when his son needed him the most. "Let's talk about this inside. Jake can make us all some tea and then we can talk about this privately and rationally."

As if Billy were god, we all followed his order and one by one with me lagging behind hanging my head in shame we made our way back into the house. Jake remained in the kitchen whilst Billy, Charlie and I returned to sit in the living room in an awkward silence. Sitting in the worn out arm-chair across from Charlie who stood by the window staring into space with a disappointed expression across his face, I had never felt so much remorse in my whole entire life. The last time I had hurt Charlie, which had been last year when I had left because of James coming after me , I had said some horrible things to him. In my eyes that has been the most hurtful thing I could ever had done to him. But this, being pregnant, was far worse than that. This had caused him shame and to no longer see me as his little girl.

Jacob had come back in at that moment placing down a tray of tea and biscuits , and having been caught up in all the commotion I had forgotten that Jacob's jacket was still wrapped round my arms. Almost tearing it to pieces in my anger I pulled it off and practically threw it back at Jacob, who caught it neatly in his hands and went to stand beside his Dad's wheelchair. Billy was the first one to break the silence.

"OK." He began calmly looking from Jacob to me. "Bella how far along are you in your pregnancy?"

"I went to the Doctors yesterday. I'm just three months." I told him as I fidgeted in my seat.

"Three months ago. Which is when you and Jacob stopped talking. This all makes sense now."

"What I want to know!" Charlie said very loudly all of a sudden. "Is what your doing about this baby? Are you keeping it? How are you going to manage school and a baby?"

"Dad." I said in a low voice. "I don't want this baby. I was in a really bad place when this baby was conceived and I still am now. I can't handle this."

"Well maybe you should have considered that before you got into bed with me." Jacob bit at me harshly.

This caused Charlie's anger to go sky-high.

"Don't you dare speak to my daughter like that. You knew she was getting over Edward, but you took advantage of her anyway! This is your fault!"

"Jacob shut it! Your in enough trouble as it is!" Billy snapped before adding to me in a softer tone. "So Bella. What do you plan on doing?"

"I cant have an abortion, it's too much pain. I think I'm going to have the baby and put it up for adoption. It's the best option for everyone." I explained.

Adoption was not an easier process than abortion, in some ways it was worse. Harder to overcome, difficult to forget that you had a child somewhere in the world being raised by someone else. But in my heart I knew that I couldn't have an abortion, I wasn't pro life or anything, I just knew that I wouldn't be able to handle killing my own child. Even if I didn't care for it the way I Should.

"Are you sure Bells?" Charlie asked me with a concerned look.

I nodded in response.

"Well then. It's all sorted. No more need for arguments. Now let's eat." Billy said in agreement.

It was out of politeness that Charlie agreed for them to stay for dinner, despite being on bad terms with Jacob. The meal was the enmity of unease, it passed by rapidly with Charlie and Billy making dull conversation whilst me and Jacob sent each other looks of repulsion across the table and eat very little. And by the time the meal was over and our guests had left , their was still a hostile atmosphere in the house as me and Charlie revisited the way we spent my first week in Forks. Silence.

A/N: Here you go there's some answers again. I'm sorry again for the long wait and promise to update ASAP. Bye x x x


End file.
